Monday, June 13, 2011

I, We, C, He, She

We went to Scott Antiques on Saturday.  We had a specific reason.  We wanted to see a man about making a custom gate.  He said he was there every show.  I had photographs, measurements and a sketch.  He was not there. I had his card. I should have called.

We had driven an hour.  C spent $90 filling up his car.  I felt he would rather be home watching a Real World marithon.  We stayed and looked for a while.  I walked fast.

I would like to own these planters for the front veranda.  I would need four.  He had four.  He said they were from a fine home in Aiken, SC.  I did not care.  He would take $950.  I believe he meant $950 each.  We moved on. 

C likes architectural salvage.  We both have a fondness for pediments.  We never learned the cost of this very large and very fine item.  We decided cost did not matter since we have no place to use it and did not know what to do with it.  We checked it out for a long time. I am perplexed as to why someone would hang a red boa on the end of it. 

I wanted to buy this.  I wanted to bring it home with me so I could burn it.  I know I hate it.  I may love it just a bit.

I wish I knew what to do with these.  I think they are too large to use as a purse.

I am reminded that I do not want to be eaten by a bear. I do not want this. I believe you do not need this even if you own a Montana ranch.

I am almost positive this women lived next door to my house when I was six.

I said I thought this chair was interesting.  C told me it was not.  He was right.

C liked these.  She told him they were priced at $950.  I think she had been drinking.  We moved on.

I asked what these were.  She said they were used to clean peanuts.  She seemed irritated when I asked for a further explanation.  She said peanuts are tumbled to remove debris.  I suggested she refer to them as peanut tumblers and they would make interesting hanging lamps.  She said ‘the guys’ (code for gay) who had own them had placed spotlights in the bottom and a fern in the top.  She said it was beautiful.  I rolled my eyes.  She seemed irritated.  

I should have purchased these.  I would then have a nice spot to rest my cocktail refreshment when lounging by the pool.

I already have one of these.  I have had it for a long time.  I saw many of these at Scott's.  I feel everyone copies me.  I made a mental note to self to move it to a secondary location when I got home.

I found this to be an attractive bench.  He said it was Italian or French. I am not sure I believed him.  He said he would take $1500 for it.  He mistook us for rich people.

C said this was the best item he saw at the show.  I agreed the $750 cost was worth every penny.  I like the concept of daytime free-range chickens.  I could easily collect their eggs and clean their cute house. I could relocate their cute house so they would have fresh grass.  I would have to capture them and put them in their cute house at night.  I am afraid I would easily tire of this chore in less then two days.  I would forget to capture the chickens and put them in their safe house at night.  I believe foxes would eat my free-range chickens on the third night.  I believe weeds would grow around the cute house and it would eventually fall apart.

We liked this.  We could think of no practical use for it at our home other than collecting junk.  We decide it was best to leave it at Scott Antique Market.

We both liked these.  I thanked God there is no place for us to attach them to our house. 

I wanted these doors.  I realize I have no place to use them.  He said they were sold.  He said they sold for $4500.  I pretended to be disappointed. 

I do not want anyone to give me anything like this as a gift.  I will put it in my yard sale pile.

We bought this.  We will place it on the top of the garden shed.  I will get around to it someday.


  1. this post was highly entertaining.

  2. Witty and informative, how do you manage to combine both ??

  3. Please let me join you for next month's Scott's. It will be for my 40th birthday present, and I would like for you to entertain me while I walk around. Usually my mother is the entertainment, but I think you actually have her beat.

  4. A bonfire after Scotts would make national design blogging news. The whole world would be grateful.

  5. great recap, hysterical....the underbelly of scott's......still love it. best show out there and i used to drive 13 hours!

  6. you kill me. and i'm with anon above. you could be like eddie and jaithan on those flea mkt tours, only really funny.


  7. What a fun trip! I'm so glad I found y'alls blog too! I have an 1840's building in New Orleans...lots of love and lots of work. Your home is fabulous-it's lucky to have you both!

  8. The place makes me itch thus I stay away. But, it's an interior desecrator's dream!

  9. RAndy, many thanks for the comments on my blog! I want to come shopping with you!
    Don't buy and burn that picture as somehow I kind of like it!

  10. What great finds! Love Scotts! Thanks for sharing!
    xo E + J

  11. omg... this was so dayum funny! I wish you could hear us (I'm reading it to Dan;) laughing! Thanks for the recap!!

  12. How have I only now just discovered you! So entertaining (and true).


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