Garden Shed DIY

Yesterday I started a new project.  It’s really not new.  I’ve been putting it off for a couple of years.

When we bought our house back in the Stone Age, it was supposed to be a project to renovate an antebellum farmhouse as a simple weekend retreat.  We were so overwhelmed by the house itself that we could not focus on the yard and surrounding acreage.  At the time all I could imagine was to just clean up the small grassy yard immediately surrounding the house.  The walls of renegade trees and overgrown muscadine vines were just a border between the yard and the acres of un-kept fields.  It was hard to image venturing beyond those borders at the time. 

We needed a cheap storage area to keep tools and construction supplies, so we had one of those basic little wood storage sheds built. It was the kind where a few guys in sleeveless Harley Davison tee shirts and lots of tattoos show up with a truck of 2x4’s and some particle board and a half a day later you have shed.  We hid it behind the wall of muscadine vines, out of sight.  Later C installed a copper wind vein and cupola.  It helped, a little. 

By year three or four, although the house was nowhere near finished, we did focus more on the grounds and the entire thing seemed less daunting.  We started making big strides in clearing the overgrowth.  All of a sudden the basic little shed was in plain view of the house and pool and had to be dealt with.

We still needed the storage and I’m too cheap to even have thought about tearing it down, so I did the next best thing.  I had a house mover come in and yes move the shed to the other side of the property at the end of the new vegetable garden. 

So ‘the shed’ now became known as ‘the garden shed’.  

We had a porch, green tin roof and lean-to added.  By the time we did all that, plus the cost of Billy Bob’s House Moving Company, we probably would have been better to tear it down and start over!

Over the next few years it has received the benefit of all the recycled doors, windows and other discarded items from the constant construction on the main house.  But, there’s never been a master plan on the garden shed, so instead of a cute vintage cobbled together garden shed, it’s turned out to resemble Granny Clampet’s mountain shack! 

Actually, the inside is better than the outside.  Two summers ago we decided to use leftover construction materials to add a ‘finishing’ touch to the inside.  We had enough sheetrock to do three walls; the fourth was clad in heart pine planking.  We replaced the barn doors with glass French doors and added some Cha Cha molding around them.  In fact, it’s probably the only shed in the county that’s painted with Farrow and Ball paint and has Ballwin brass door hardware.  Actually, my house is probably the only house in the County painted with Farrow and Ball paint so I’m damn sure the shed is the only shed in the county sporting a Farrow and Ball $75 a gallon interior paint job!

Now it’s really time to focus on the exterior.  As you can see it needs help.  But, typical for me I’ve started again without a plan.  I keep thinking along the lines of Greek Temple meets Mount Vernon meets Refined Recycled.  I’ll probably end up with Alabama Trailer!

 

Recent...

Here's the look I'm going for...

But, I'd settle for this...

or this...

I could even work with this...

I need to do something before it gets to this...

but will probably end up with this...

Which is better than this hot mess...
Although I'm kinda liking that little red skirt he's sporting...

I’ll keep you posted on the progress.

Roving Street Chickens

Why did the chickens cross the road?

Some years back we had the front and side yards re-landscaped and added many columnar magnolias creating a private garden in the front of the house and to border the road.

Yesterday, aimlessly staring out my second floor bathroom window, while brushing my thick glorious hair or flossing my teeth, I can’t remember which; I noticed some odd movement under one of the magnolias near the road.  It was some type animal; large, black and reddish brown in color and it was rooting and rolling around under one of the trees. I immediately assumed it was a Mountain Lion, which would have been strange considering we don’t have many mountains or lions in Georgia.  I put down my curling iron and padded down stairs.  The first thing I noticed as I exited the kitchen door was our two farm cats asleep on the porch, as usual.  If there was some mysterious creature in the front yard, the cats did not seem very interested.  The second thing I notice was the sound, which instantly solved the mystery.  There was a whole lot on clucking going on!  As I got closer to the tree, I could tell that instead of one multi colored furry animal rolling around under the low branches, it was three chickens. 

I walked back in the house and yelled for C, “There are a bunch of chickens in the front yard”.  Of course we live WAY in the country so it’s not usual to hear statements like that.  In fact, probably yelling we have chickens in the yard should be far more common than some of the things I’ve said before:

“There’s a cow on the front porch.”

“There’s at least twelve deer at the pool.”

“There’s a raccoon in that tree staring into the bedroom window.”

“There’s a snake in the bathroom.”

“There’s a pack of turkeys in the driveway.”

So, one would think that chickens in the yard would not be unusual.  However, we don’t have any chickens.  I want to build a pen and purchase some chickens.  But, every time I think about it I remember that my grandmother had chickens.  As kids my brothers and I would have to go feed them.  We were horrified to go in that pen with a pan of feed.  She must have had 20 or 30 chickens and they would swarm around us trying to get the food.  And there was chicken shit everywhere!  I know everyone is all about raising chickens these days and I know since we live where we live, I should especially have some.  But, I’ve been there done that and I don’t know if I’m really ready to go there again.  I might need more therapy first.  Besides, eggs are only a dollar a dozen! 

Also, I’m not aware of many chickens living nearby.  There’s a man down the street named Turtle or Crawdad or Boll weevil or something like that who has chickens, but his are in a major league pen resembling a prison with no chance of escape.  That’s why I found the presence of chickens in the yard to be more surprising than that of a red fox or miniature horse.

“When did those chickens wonder over here?” C stated as he walked outside. 

It was his lack of surprise that reminded me that these particular chickens were the pets of our new neighbors.  We have a very cute girl and her cowboy boyfriend now living across the street.  They showed up with a menagerie of farm animals, some cows, horses, a cat, a dog and yes, some chickens.  Their house sits far off the road, so except for the horses and cows which are easily visible in the pasture, I forget about the chickens. They let the chickens wonder free range style around the house.  The chickens usually stay near the house, but for some reason yesterday they decided to make a break for it, down the driveway, through the pasture and across the road. 

I really didn’t mind the chickens poking around my house.  It brought a rustic sense of authenticity to the farm.  However, they were rooting around and making a mess of all the mulch in the front garden. 

We decided to persuade the chickens to go home.  Primarily because they seemed to want to stay very near one tree extremely close to the road.  Hours can go by without ever seeing a car, but it was around 6:00 PM, so what little traffic there is increases during this busiest time of the day.  C started trying to ‘shoo’ the chickens back across the street, but instead they freaked and each ran in a different directions.  One of them kept hiding out under the magnolias, while the other two ran up and down the middle of the road.  The neighbors were at work and all I could think was us having to explain how we were trying to ‘shoo’ the chicken’s home, when they were flattened by a fast moving pick up truck.  We could have just picked them up and dropped them over the pasture fence, which would have been much easier than ‘shooing’ them, but then we would have had to touch them and that wasn’t going to happen. 

I’m not picking up another man’s chicken.  I have no idea where that chicken may have been.  I remember as a kid they can be mean and will peck.  Beside, I’m not a fan of fowl unless they're roasted and rubbed with olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic.

Finally, C got all three chickens through the neighbor’s driveway gate and we watched as they meandered home.  Crisis diverted. 

So, why did the chicken cross the road? 

Obviously, To get to my house on the other side!

 

Sorry...that was the best I could do!

 

 

Skins



photo credit Eric Piasecki

I’m looking for an animal hide rug for my living room.  I like them best when they’re placed over large sisals.  I haven’t found one with the right colors yet.  Well, that’s not true. I have seen quite a few that would do nicely, but I haven’t had the right amount of cash in my pocket.  I want a white and palomino version.  No Zebra.  But, it appears I'm wrong about that.  Every pic I find is Zebra.  That’s just not right and I don’t want PETA harassing me.  But, I would do cowhide and feel just fine about it. 

  

photo credit Oberto Gili



Pieter Estersohn

photo credit Roger Davies

photo credit Simon Upton
(5 photos)

photo credit William Waldron

Fig Leaf Temptation

I want this!

Since I’m all about hedges and evergreens this is the perfect home accessory for me to own.   It’s called Fig Leaf and is by designer and artist Tord Boontje for Meta. 

This particular piece is a wardrobe that pays homage to the 18^th Century tradition of Fantasy Furniture and is a play on Adam and Eve and the Fig Leaf.

‘Born from Mallett, Meta combines 18th century knowledge with a 21st century aesthetic. Since 1865 Mallett has been the pre-eminent antique house with an unerring eye for exemplary design and superlative execution.  Meta has commissioned leading designers to create timeless contemporary objects and furniture of exceptional quality.   Meta has created pieces today which will form the collections of the future.’

It’s made of over 600 hundred individually painted enamel leaves and opens to reveal a hand sculpted bronze tree and ‘earth to heaven’ silk background.

Meta has two locations, London and New York.  You can see more (if you’re interested and have the cash) at http://www.madebymeta.com/

Oh…by the way, it appears it can be ours for £350,000 approximately.  I’m not an expert in currency conversion, but I think that’s around $560,808.46.  And, since I live in an old house that has few closets, I’m thinking about purchasing at least a pair! 

JK Place Firenze

One of our best friends is obsessed with Italy.  Which actually I guess is better than being obsessed with porn or cocaine.  She vacations there every chance she gets.  She’s learned the language, understands the scene and knows her way around.  Consistently she sends me emails that reference Italy, some more subtle than others.  It might be a blog posting, a link to a magazine article or like in this case a link to a hotel she’s found.  These are her ways of dropping hints that we need to be planning a trip.  A group of us went to Florence, Tuscany and then to Rome several years ago and I have to say that it was the best trip ever!  And, having a glamorous friend to travel with who likes to serve as tour guide, is mega fun, speaks the language and best of all appreciates the food and wine is priceless. 

I normally would not be doing postings about Italy, since unfortunately it’s about as far away from the concept of AJ Barnes as imaginable, but when I saw photographs of the Florence hotel on their site I loved it.  It’s very much my ideal.  Of course you know, I’m all about the mix of old and new, modern and traditional and JK Place manages to do just that.  So I thought I’d share. 

And who knows…maybe there will be a trip at some point again.  And that I will write about! 

J.K. PLACE

FIRENZE - Piazza Santa Maria Novella, 7 - Firenze
Tel. +39.055.2645181 Fax +39.055.2658387