Sunday, May 20, 2012

HGTV Green Home

I’ve been so busy lately not only have I fallen behind on my blog postings (which you probably have noticed) but I also had no idea that the HGTV Green Home give-away-thing-2012 is actually a home near where we live. The house is located in Serenbe in the Chattahoochee Hills area south of Atlanta. I like Serenbe. In fact, I know a few people who live there and I am pretty familiar with the area. Google it if you’re interested. It’s an interesting concept town based on community and agriculture…with a big emphasis on aesthetics. But, this post isn’t about Serenbe, it’s about styling.

I watched the show last night. 
OK…here’s the deal. I like the actual house…for the most part. Of course I would - its modern farm house based on southern vernacular. 

But here's my issue…and I know HGTV is a ‘decorating’ network so they have to do what they do…but please…I couldn’t see the house for all the shit inside. Talk about over styled, over decorated and over accessorized!  These photos are from the actual HGTV site and they appear slightly cleaned up from what aired on the network.  But there's still too much going on here.

Now, of course I’m going to enter the sweepstakes and totally plan on winning. And, as soon as I do I will have a yard sale…which is probably against the Serenbe rules, but what the hell. Half of that mess has to go. Why does southern inspired architecture have to be decorated with lamps made of plows, tables made of old barn doors and the like. I assume television shows need a theme and I know it's the 'green' home.

It's actually a very sophisticated house and would really be nice done in beautiful muted neutral tones and tailored furniture.  A little darker, more sexy and less gimmicks.  Think Bobby McAlpine meets modern.

Below is the room the show referred to as a relaxing hide-away. 
And, I have a hard time relaxing in burnt orange rooms. 

Am I mistaken but isn’t a noose type rope which hangs from a loft a bit odd and creepy in a kid's room!  That's just wrong on so many levels!

This is the master bedroom.  I hate everything about it.  And like the rest of the house there's far too much furniture.

If you win (I mean when I win) included in the package is this SUV.  It's ugly so I'd sell it too.  But, not before I use it to haul off all the shit.

HGTV call this the Georgia Room.  Its connected to the house and on two sides opens to the outdoor decks.  In fact several of the rooms open to the exterior.  Which is great, but for those of us who actual live here if you open those doors between June and September you'll be mauled by mosquitoes and other flying teeth.

And, where's the pool?  I'm glad there's plenty of accessories and decor I can sell at my yard sale...that will help fund my pool.

And to make matters worse, Jamie Durie hosted the show with some blond, but I don't know who she was.  In my book Jamie is right up there with Daniel Craig and I can't believe he was so close and I didn’t know it…so close yet so far.


  1. I just got really excited about the house from the exterior, but each progressive interior shot made me more and more scared.

    You better win, make it right, and blog about it!

  2. well i could use it, after it has been cleared of all the crap (really a noose in a kids room?!). it would be my hotel/staging area when visiting scotts in atlanta. or if you win you could house me for the above, deal?
    missed you, glad you are back!

  3. Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!

    I completely agree with your assessment. It looks like Better Homes and Gardens magazine exploded in there.

    The house has great bones and a fantastic location.

    I hope you win!

  4. good luck randy. did you read the ny times article about the over-propped houses of today? this one takes the cake. and the noose belongs in the parents room, not the kids.

  5. nice idea.. thanks for sharing.

  6. I decided a long time ago not to visit show houses and then succumbed again the last two years much to my wallet's chagrin. Seeing your photos reminds me that I really should have more strength of character and not bother with another. Awful place.

  7. just got around to reading this're so eloquent in expressing my thoughts when I first saw pics from this house...and a bit of a tour on HGTV...what a mess, and they apparently hire this designer from year to year to "decorate" their dream homes. The comment regarding McAlpine hit the nail on the head. What a difference a real designer would have made. And not only McAlpine but so many others in the Atlanta area with real design experience and excellent taste, but after all this is HGTV and not exactly Architecture Digest....

  8. Oh boy do I agree with your take on this home. I also live near Serenbe. I thought, at first, I would go while they were building the Green House. Never got there... Now I don't have to go!!! Staging out of hand!
    Thanks for the Post. Loved it!

  9. It is not a noose!!! I have been to the house. We gave tours there. The money went to non profit organizations.What you think is a noose is accually a bucket on a rope to send stuff up and down. You can not take the bucket of the rope. It is perfectly safe. The Georgia room is a screened in porch so you don't get eaten by Mosquitos.

  10. dear A,
    Actually I called it a 'noose like rope' and I realized it had a bucket on it. Point is with or without a bucket its a bit strange and in a kids rooms I can only see it as the reason of a future accident. and the overall point of the post was the house is overstage, over 'decorated' - my opinion. Glad you made $ from your tours.

  11. hey!

    i've been inside that shitbarn. it sucks. for all the reasons you said and i can totally get behind a modern mcalpine look. i can also get behind a durie. and a craig.

  12. Hi
    Nice one! I like the outfit of the characters. Wish i could do the same thing too but im not that techie.i like the outfit of “from farmer to warden”.. really interesting.


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