Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Out Of Focus

Last week I was in NYC on business.  Utilizing little to no imagination, I'd planned to take advantage of New York decorated for the holidays and snap photos for a my first holiday post providing you with crisp clear holiday beauty and inspiration. 

Instead this happened...

 

It poured rain for days ... I mean Louisiana swamp hurricane rain.  I loved living in NYC but don't miss the city when its soaked and packed with tourist and their umbrellas.   So let's just say that my photography skills were not at their best.


I went out of my way to stop by Saks to see this year's light projection installation and get photos for the blog, but after being beat senseless by the rain and the crowds this was the best I could do. Besides it looked better in the video.







C went with me.  While I was in meetings he saw the Elizabeth Taylor Collection at Christie's. He offered to wait and go when I was free.

I decided not to go because I thought it would be like this...


but he said it was this...


beautiful...


and this amazing...

I wish I'd gone!


One night we went to an event gala for a charity I'm involved with at Cipriani Wall Street...
which is one of the most amazing spaces ever...


The DJ was Lady Bunny...for those of you not in the know she's drag queen royalty....
(drag queen royalty...hmmm...rather redundant...)


 After some champagne and a taste of wine I snapped about 40 pics of Lady Bunny....


...and finally got one in focus...
(she had to pose for me about 30 times....)

Then after more champagne and chocolate Martinis, Missy Bunny and I ran into to each on the way out.  At this point I considered her a best friend and asked for a photo with her.  Being the lovely Diva she is, she consented.  Unfortunely, C was not sure how to use my IPhone so what we got was 2 1/2 minutes on three separate videos that I can't fiqure out how to get from my phone to the blog...besides..although funny as hell - we were both out of focus wet hot messes at that point...


We left the next day and I had forgotten to arrange for a car to the airport. As we left the hotel the world's biggest stretch limo stopped at the curb and the driver jumped out and asked if we were going to Laguardia.  I don't generally accept off duty limo rides but this guy seemed OK and his price was about the same as a taxi so off we went...


I don't like drivers who want to talk to me and this guy wanted to chat.  Thank God C was there so the two of them carried on a conversation while I watched my Lady Bunny videos and peed in my pants laughing. The driver was telling C about the many celebrities he had driven, which I ignored until I heard him mention the 'Beverly Hillbillies Housewives'.  Honestly he referred to them this way and didn't even realize what he had actually said.


Then I became interested.  Not because I like the BHW's - I honestly hate those bitches and every thing to do with them and all the other houswives sluts. The Houseswhore series is a big deal in our house.  Sometimes I think it could be the thing that breaks up a really successful LTR because we disagree on it's social value.  C thinks it's mindless silly entertainment not to be taken seriously and to be enjoyed for what it is - trashy TV.  AND I think its the biggest piece of SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT ever created by mankind and is most probably the ruin of modern civilization.


So anyway...back to the limo...this is a photo of how I imagine the housewhores looked after our driver hauled their asses around NYC for a week...


I think that's Lisa Vanderheel on the right, but I can't be sure...

Our driver said we could see him and his car in the episodes when the whores were scanking around NYC, especially when he carried the Grammars to a gala event. 


In fact C was seated where Kelsey was and my ass was parked were Camille and her big red dress perched. Most people would have thought about looking around to see if there had been a fake nail or blond hair extensation discarded on the floor...but instead I just wanted to go wash my butt. 

I find Lady Bunny or the late great Liz Taylor far more interesting...

Next time I'll try to stay in focus...



3 comments:

  1. Ahahaha. Beverly Hillbillies Housewives! That's some funny shit.

    Looks in focus to me. That's what the world looks like to me most of the time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i find you to be hilarious and fun, someone i would like to have a drink, or two with!

    figure out that video......dying to see it
    debra

    ReplyDelete
  3. An amusing narrative of word and image. I enjoyed reading this. Liz and Bunny definitely are more interesting.

    ReplyDelete

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